HAPPY NEW YEARS PRACTICE!
We have all been given a remarkable opportunity — the ending of the Mayan Calendar at the beginning of the new year.
We’re all familiar with “New Years Resolutions” — those flimsy, half-thought ideas about how we could change or “fix” our behavior for some half-baked purpose…. WHAT?
Seriously. Can you remember the last year that you ACTUALLY took the time to SIT DOWN and really draw out your vision for the future, map out your blocks to happiness, health, and wealth, plan your next steps toward the RESULTS you wish to achieve?
There are many issues with many people’s “resolutions.” One thing: often they seem to be a punishment — some restriction on our behavior for little purpose but to serve the ego…. you can’t get far with this! You can’t get far with shaming yourself, guilting yourself, berating yourself to ACT DIFFERENTLY and TO CHANGE.
Change must come from within first. Think: if my room is cluttered and I’m trying to clear my space — it is not the clutter that has begot the clutter, it is the mind which caused the clutter. If my fuse has been short and my temper long — it is not the behavior of other people that has caused the reaction, it is my own internal barometer.
You see, analyticity is the bane of western culture: to separate things into isolated parts without addressing the holistic system of the root cause. I don’t want you to put a BANDAID on your BONDAGE — I want you to LIBERATE YOURSELF! You see, so many people just want to COVER UP their challenges with the smoke screen of new behavior…. let me tell you people: behavior is a bandaid. The same behavior that comes from the foul source covers the foul source.
This isn’t to say that by behaving differently you can’t change your life — it’s just to say: DON’T FALL INTO THE TRAP OF EXCHANGING ONE SHADOW FOR ANOTHER! I see it SO OFTEN! Don’t do it! This is the so-called hydraulics of emotion… the negative energy is recycled but not exchanged. DON’T DO IT!
So now that you got that, let’s talk about what you can do in order to fulfill your new years resolutions, to come up with PROFOUND ones, and to set yourself up on a track towards peace, bliss, and fulfillment.
YOU CAN DO THIS IN A GROUP tonight for your new year festivities or do it with someone you care about or… JUST DO IT YOURSELF!
1: SHADOW ROUND
a) spend time contemplating what your shadows are. Shadows are things I hide, repress, or deny about myself. They are limiting beliefs — things that block us from living the life we desire.
b) WRITE THEM DOWN (I’ll be saying this a lot… memory is fallible, pen and paper isn’t… plus there’s more to this later. Stay tuned.) When writing them, keep them short and sweet — one word and maybe a few words of description. For example – one of mine is: Sisyphean — keep adding avoid finishing. [then you can add a counter-action] JUST FINISH IT!
c) When everyone is finished coming up with their own shadows for themselves, create the hot-seat. This can be literal or metaphorical. Ask the first person to step up. Tell them to drop their shield. Everyone can now proceed to tell this person: “the shadow I see in you is”… “I judge you to be”…. etc. DON’T HOLD BACK. You’re giving this person gold they can choose to either pick up or keep down. It’s not about HURTING THEM (in fact, maybe if you are… there’s a piece there?). By mirroring to them shadows you see in them you give them to opportunity to grow…. without knowing how they’re showing up in the world — you’ve robbed your friend of their PIECE. Plus, if you corroborate one of the shadows they already see in themselves — it’s even further reason for them to work on it.
d) allow the person on the hotseat to add something — ask questions (while it’s going on too) to clarify. It’s not about STORY or DEFENDING oneself… this defeats the purpose. It’s about fully understanding what your friends see.
e) Ask: what the hardest piece to pick up?
f) When the person is complete, continue to go around the entire group until everyone has gone.
2: GOLD ROUND
— same thing as shadow round, except instead of asking ourselves: what holds me back? Ask: where do I show up in the world in a POSITIVE WAY. What are my virtues? What do/can I honor about myself. What do/can other people honor about me? This is the time to SHOWER your friends with compliments: the things you honor about them and wish to celebrate.
You can say: “The gold I find in you is….”
In this round we take what we’ve learned and apply it.
a) Come up with your new years resolutions based on this list. Share them with your friends, make sure they are reasonable. Be open to suggestions for improving the resolutions so that they are ACHIEVABLE!
b) Create a support group with your shadows. Send these people the list of your shadows that you want to be held accountable to. The point is to dissolve our blocks… these are the things inside of us WE DO NOT WISH TO BE HELD BACK BY! Thus, if a friend can recognize these in us and POINT THEM OUT… they can literally bring us out under the reigns of our shadows influence…. This is the part you can savor all year around.
–This is not about perfection. Say the wrong thing. Make a mistake. If you’re friends can’t handle it — there’s something for them to look at there… This is about being LOVING, not about being an ASSHOLE. This is not an opportunity to take potshots but to help the other person grow and love their life.
–There are more advanced practices to “making this work.” There’s always a danger in doing inner work without supervision… but, c’mon if you’re really going to buy that BS you’ve got some SERIOUS empowerment pieces! Pick them up… Don’t pick them up… your choice.
–Let me know what you come up with and what happens. I would be delighted to support you in making your personal dreams this new year all come true. That’s what I’m here for!